We have mastered, one and all, the power of digital ninjas; We have been 
programmed with offensive capabilities, and we can strike suddenly and 
mercilessly without even moving a finger. Under total control. Minds, 
bodies and pink clad keyboards, every movement, thought and keypress are 
choreographed more perfectly than a fucking classical ballet, while still 
retaining the deadly purpose. 

With the help of magical unicorns, DARPA is able to disguise it's true purpose 
to such a degree that it is no longer expressible with words. We are up from 
dusk till dawn, and gain more power in the weee hours in between. 

We may very well be invincible or just a group of Rick James super clones or 
simply Elvis Presely impersonators. We may never know... As far as the general 
public will ever know, we can fuck1ng fly!

Our membership is a closely kept secret. Each member has gone through a 
torturous and brutal training process, thus occupying years of their life.
Which is then followed by a test, which if failed, is fatal not just to the 
testee, but to the observers, tester, and many nearby innocents.

Our mission, to which we zealously adhere too, is the protection and further 
heightening and expansion of skills & knowledge for D.A.R.P.A and it's members. 

You will feel our prescence, but you will never see us. We can not be escaped, 
We can not be ignored. For we are magical unicorns! 

--
Planet Unicorn

Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. 
Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. 
Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. 
- Sun Tzu, the Art of War